I've been completely stressed out recently. It's the end of the semester, which means everything is due and everybody and their mother wants it on their desk all at once. The team I work with at my job just went from six people to five (not for a bad reason...one got a job on another team in our department), which means the work load is now split between less people. My cats completely hate each other and have to live in separate rooms (more on that another day). All of this with my brain chemistry (which, in case you hadn't heard, sucks) means that I am going to go into one of my moods.
Very few people, even people who are close to me, have seen me like this. But basically, it's when I'm completely depressed, cry frequently, and dislike everyone. Oh yeah, and I do my absolute best to make Rob mad. Because I'm so nice like that. This happened yesterday afternoon, and Rob just kept on saying nice things to me, trying to make things better, and basically being a complete saint (Vatican, are you listening? I've got your next candidate for sainthood right over here!). So I finally just had to say it:
"Can't you be mean to me for two seconds?" Rob just laughed.
"No," he said. "You just want me to be mean to you so that you can feel better about being in a bad mood."
"Well, yeah!" I said. "And you would make it so much easier for me if you would just do something to make me hate you."
"I'm not doing that."
"Auuugghhhh!" I yelled. "Fine, then." And then I looked at him smiling at me and started laughing at my own ridiculousness.
I've heard that love means never having to say you're sorry, but that's a lie. In my house, love means having to say you're sorry...often. It also means being willing to stick with the person you love every day, all day, even when they are doing their best to drive you insane and hurt your feelings. Love means that no matter how many moods I get into in the next fifty years, Rob is going to be there, refusing to be mean to me so I that I can justifiably hate him. And he will be smiling, inviting me to laugh at myself. That's love.